Steve: Kerry, I’ve had a problem with OS since I started blogging in November. I’m not computer savvy, and I apologize for bothering you, but here’s the gist of the problem. Over the last six months, I’ve put up more than fifty posts. Not a single one has been rated or commented on and no one has sent me an email. At first I thought I wasn’t connected properly, but my posts seem to be making it into the feed. When I asked a friend (a big-time OSer) to help me, she couldn’t find my blog on her computer. What am I doing wrong? Sorry for the inconvenience.
Kerry: Thanks for the e-mail and thanks for joining the OS family. Don’t worry. Your computer skills are fine. We're currently beta-testing a product called “One-Way Mirror.” It’s a program that allows the editors to "quarantine" a blogger so that he can “see” OS, but OS can’t “see” him. We chose participants randomly, and you were selected. Thanks for your patience.
Steve: I see. Well, thanks for the quick response, Kerry, but I’m a little confused. Do you mean that I’m invisible to the OS community?
Kerry: No, not exactly. Joan and I can see you. We love your work. Keep it up.
Steve: Thanks, Kerry. So what’s the purpose of the program?
Kerry: Well, when Open Salon was created long ago, we knew we’d come across bloggers who were so boring that they'd need to be quarantined from the rest of the OS family. So we had two options: We could deny them access and risk a lawsuit, or we could use the “One-Way Mirror” to isolate them from the herd. With the “One-Way Mirror,” they can still feel like they’re part of OS, even though they’re not.
Steve: So do people know when they’ve been quarantined?
Kerry: Obviously not.
Steve: Well, sorry to keep bugging you, but isn’t that immoral?
Kerry: We’re based in San Francisco, Steve.
Steve: So how many people are you testing?
Kerry: Just you right now.
Steve: When will the test end?
Kerry: 2025, give or take a year.
Steve: So you’re telling me that no one’s been able to see my blog for six months and no one will ever be able to see it until 2025?
Kerry: No. Joan and I read your blog every day and we love it. Great stuff!
Steve: Well, wouldn’t it be better to test a different person every week, instead of the same person for 15 years?
Kerry: Well, Joan and I thought about that, but we were overruled.
Steve: By whom?
Kerry: By each other.
Steve: Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m not sure that I want to keep blogging at OS if no one’s going to read my posts.
Kerry: Joan and I love your posts. We want you to stay.
Steve: Well, thanks, Kerry, and I'm sorry to be so testy, but maybe other people would like to see them too.
Kerry: Honestly, Steve, you're writing is so deep and esoteric. Probably too advanced for the OS crowd. You're better off with me and Joan.
Steve: Well, thanks, Kerry. Actually, you’re the first person to say anything nice about my writing.
Kerry: It’s great stuff, Steve. Great stuff.
Steve: Thanks, Kerry. I appreciate that. Well, just one more question: Which of my posts did you like the most?
Kerry: Joan and I love your political commentary.
Steve: But I don’t do political commentary.
Kerry: Sure you do, Steve. Everybody does political commentary. Politics is about people, and you write about people, don’t you?
Steve: Well, yes.
Kerry: You see? You understand people, Steve. That’s why we need you at OS.
Steve: Thanks, again, Kerry. Sorry to have been so cranky. I’ll stay with OS. Thanks for your time. Give my best to Joan.
Kerry: I sure will, Steve. I bet she’s reading your stuff right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment